Moral Failure (Before
a Watching World)
There have been few things more damaging to
the church’s witness than how it has handled moral failure among its
leaders. Not simply that there has been
moral failure – that is damaging enough – but how it is then handled by the
church. Too many times it has simply
added to the pain and disdain. Whether
pedophiles, serial adulterers, or those who misuse church authority and
discipline, headlines and blogs are filled with understood outrage and
indignation over not simply the acts, but the church’s response.
So why do so many churches bungle moral
failure among leaders? For some, it’s
true ignorance. They honestly don’t know
what is best to do, never received training or mentoring, and are having to
make it up as they go. One of the most
common “mentoring” phone calls I receive from younger pastors is how to deal
with moral failure when it hits their leadership team.
But we have to be less generous to what may
be the most common reason for mishandling a moral failure: churches and individuals are trying to
self-protect, even at the expense of victims.
They are trying to protect giving, support,
attendance, and reputation. But lost in
that “protection” are those in the future who might be abused by a serial
pedophile, spouses that will see their marriage ripped apart by a habitual
adulterer, and an ever growing number of church attenders who will be hurt by the
ongoing spiritual abuse of leaders who seem to be given over to pride and
anger.
So how should a church handle moral failure?
Here is a ten-step strategy forged over
twenty-five years of ministry that I have often shared with younger leaders
that will protect the abused, both confront and, if they allow it, care for the
offender, and ensure the church’s integrity:
1. Determine
whether this is something that should be reported immediately to the
authorities. For example, ANY situation
where a child has been sexually or physically abused should be reported to the
police at once. If it is a matter that
does not involve the authorities, and they simply flee your church upon being
revealed, do not in any way enable them to simply go to another church and
continue their sin against others. You
may be limited as to what you can do, but do what you can to prevent them from
being one of those who go from church-to-church, fleeing discipline and
accountability, leaving a trail of bodies in their wake.
2. Reflect
on how the immorality surfaced. Were
they discovered, or did they come forward on their own? This is your first sign as to whether there
is true repentance at hand. A situation
where someone confesses, and repents, because they were “caught” after months
or years of “covering up” is very different than someone who comes forward on
their own out of conviction.
3. Is
their failure habitual, or a seeming one-time offense? There is a significant difference between,
say, a serial adulterer as opposed to a “one-night-stand” affair. In other words, was the offense an anomaly in
light of a steadfast track record over a long period of time, or is this a
repeat offender?
4. Was
this offense of a completely disqualifying nature for their ministry role, or
are they restorable? In my judgment,
someone who is unfaithful to their spouse one time in the context of years of
commitment, can be restored. A serial
offender cannot (or perhaps more to the point, should not). I would also argue that any offense against a
child is grounds for permanent removal from any type of ministry with children. That is a “one-strike-and-you’re-out”
offense.
5. If
the person shows the kind of authentic repentance that seeks restoration, then
resolve to have any and all discipline be restorative and not punitive. Too many churches have discipline that is
meant to punish, not redeem and restore.
The main purpose of church discipline is to drive the unrepentant toward
repentance. If repentance is there, then
move into restoration.
6. During
restoration, it is usually wise to remove the person from any and all public
platforms and leadership positions. If
kept in employment, it should behind-the-scenes and free of spiritual responsibility.
7. The
time of restoration depends on many things, including the kind of counseling
that may be required. For matters of
sexual immorality involving another person, I would suggest six months minimum,
but perhaps one year maximum.
8. Communicate
the situation to those who need to know.
This is delicate, as there are many innocent parties involved who may
not wish the details to be divulged (e.g., the family of the child so abused,
the wife of the unfaithful spouse).
There is also the family of the offender who, in most situations, are
also victims (you do not want to unnecessarily embarrass the daughter of an
adulterous man removed from ministry). I
would advise to share details with the relevant circle of that person’s
influence and ministry. This means that
the wider the influence and ministry, the more people have to be told. If it was a small group leader, that person’s
small group should know, and perhaps other small group leaders in that
ministry, but not necessarily the church as a whole. Of course, there are certain individuals and
offenses that warrant an announcement to the entire church body and, perhaps, to
the rest of the watching world.
As far as the details of the offense itself,
be direct and truthful, but not salacious.
I certainly wouldn’t share anything that caters to the prurient. Also, in fairness to the person at hand, if
it wasn’t sexual, don’t use language that suggests it was. The term “moral failure” will always intimate
sexual matters to the average person, so if it was financial or some other
matter, find other language that is more to the point. But the bottom line is appropriate disclosure
to the appropriate people.
9. If
they are able to be restored due to the nature of the offense and their
repentance, then they should be fully restored with joy and celebration as a
Kingdom victory. This is as important
for the watching world as how we deal with the sin on the front-end. Grace is our secret weapon against the
world’s value system, and it shouldn’t be cheapened in our giving any more than
our receiving.
10. Those
who have fallen, and then restored, should be received into the community as
such. There should be no “scarlet
letter” on their chest from that point forward.
(*Again, matters related to child abuse are a different matter, as I
would never suggest allowing them back into that particular ministry again,
regardless of the restoration).
It goes without saying that not only is this
list far from exhaustive, but every situation is unique and will require great
prayer, counsel, wisdom and discernment.
But hopefully this will serve as a helpful set of guidelines. And if you have some that are of value to
add, please share those in the comments section of the blog. You may not need them now, but make no mistake
– there will be moral failure in the church.
It will happen within your leadership, and the world will be watching.
The key is what they will see.
James Emery White
Sources
For additional counsel on this
and related matters, see James Emery White, What
They Didn’t Teach You In Seminary (Baker).
Editor’s Note
James Emery White is the founding and senior pastor of
Mecklenburg Community Church in Charlotte, NC, and the ranked adjunctive
professor of theology and culture at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, which
he also served as their fourth president.
His newly released book is A Traveler's Guide to the Kingdom: Journeying through the Christian Life (InterVarsity Press).
To enjoy a free subscription to the Church and Culture blog, log-on to www.churchandculture.org, where you
can post your comments on this blog, view past blogs in our archive and read
the latest church and culture news from around the world. Follow Dr. White on twitter @JamesEmeryWhite.
