The Challenge of Aging

Waiting patiently in expectation does not necessarily get easier as we become older. On the contrary, as we grow in age we are tempted to settle down in a routine way of living and say: "Well, I have seen it all. ... There is nothing new under the sun. ... I am just going to take it easy and take the days as they come." But in this way our lives lose their creative tension. We no longer expect something really new to happen. We become cynical or self-satisfied or simply bored. 

The challenge of aging is waiting with an ever-greater patience and an ever- stronger expectation. It is living with an eager hope. It is trusting that through Christ "we have been admitted into God's favour ... and look forward exultantly to God's glory" (Romans 5:2)

Henri Nouwen 

Crappy Old Man

As I was searching through my writing resource files I came across the following item. It was sent to me quite some time ago as one those emails making the rounds. I don’t know why I saved it, but as I look at it now I seem to reflect on it more personally than I might have at first. I remember as my grandparents aged and as my mother reached the 100-year mark. I know of others who also found themselves in declining years with the declining abilities that come with the territory.


When I checked the story with Snopes, an Internet hoax tracker, I found it to be a well worn story with a number of different starting points, but not without a sense of authenticity. I decided that, for me, it didn’t make any difference where it came from. The story is worth repeating.

CRABBY OLD MAN
When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a small hospital near Tampa, Florida, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.One nurse took her copy to Missouri. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation (here) has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

What do you see nurses?......... What do you see? What are you thinking.......... when you're looking at me? A crabby old man......... not very wise,Uncertain of habit......... with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food......... and makes no reply. When you say in a loud voice......... 'I do wish you'd try! 'Who seems not to notice......... the things that you do. And forever is losing......... A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not......... lets you do as you will, With bathing and feeding......... The long day to fill? Is that what you're thinking?......... Is that what you see? Then open your eyes, nurse......... you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am......... As I sit here so still, As I do at your bidding......... as I eat at your will. I'm a small child of Ten......... with a father and mother, Brothers and sisters......... who love one another.

A young boy of Sixteen......... with wings on his feet. Dreaming that soon now......... a lover he'll meet. A groom soon at Twenty......... my heart gives a leap.Remembering, the vows......... that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now......... I have young of my own. Who need me to guide......... And a secure happy home. A man of Thirty......... My young now grown fast, Bound to each other......... With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons......... have grown and are gone, But my woman's beside me......... to see I don't mourn. At Fifty, once more,......... Babies play 'round my knee, Again, we know children......... My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me......... My wife is now dead. I look at the future......... I shudder with dread. For my young are all rearing......... young of their own. And I think of the years.......... And the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man......... and nature is cruel.'Tis jest to make old age......... look like a fool. The body, it crumbles......... grace and vigor, depart. There is now a stone......... where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass......... A young guy still dwells, And now and again......... my battered heart swells. I remember the joys......... I remember the pain. And I'm loving and living......... life over again.

I think of the years--all too few......... gone too fast. And accept the stark fact......... that nothing can last. So open your eyes, people......... open and see. Not a crabby old man.....Look closer....see......... ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within. We will all, one day, be there, too!

FEEL FREE TO SHARE THIS POEM. The best and most beautiful things of this world can't be seen or touched. They must be felt by the heart. God Bless. 

Dan Perin

Beaverton, Oregon

United States

Refiring And Not Retiring

A friend says that she is not retiring but re-tyring. Her life in the second-half is filled with more exciting contributions to the kingdom of God than her first half. Another friend says that he is re-firing and not retiring.,, and his life is also filled with much activities for the kingdom of God.

For years, I was worried about the big five O but now at 56, it isn't that bad. I am busier for the kingdom than when I was in my 40s. My preaching and training engagements are filling up my calendar. I suspect I am enjoying the best time of my life. 

One thing I realize is that I am a little more patient than before. Screaming kids used to irritate me but lately, some unruly kids were running at the front of the church while Pastor Alvin was preaching and... I was not even disturbed. Then there are the dogs and cats... every day, they poo a million times and I just clean a million times without even any sign of frustration. I am sweeping and mopping with a smile. Maybe I am getting senile or something.

Hopefully, with age, I am getting a little wiser. I have been doing a little intra-communication and realize that many things are not that important anymore. What car I drive and what house I live in do not matter any more. Whether I have money in the bank does not matter too. 

Other people's opinions also do not matter that much. Yes, now I have nothing to prove to anyone. What I have done, I have done! Success or failure does not seem to bother me that much now. Opinions are just opinions. 

Appearance also does not matter any more too. The other day my wife alerted me of some hairs sticking up like peacock tail on the back of my head. Guess what? I was not perturbed at all. Peacock tail or rooster tail... who is going to laugh at a man in his mid-fifties? Even if I were to crow in public, no one is going to bat an eyelid.

It is true that we are as old as we feel... so I admit that I really feel like I am only in my early 40s. The body may looked a little out of shape but the spirit is still dashing. There is still a lot of mileage left in this former black-belt holder. The most important thing for me now is to pound on the keys of my laptop and complete the three books in the pipeline. The other important thing is to impart as much information and knowledge about healing and church growth to the churches that are willing to learn. Apart from that, I want to make my wife happy so that her life will be wonderful too.

Mmmmm... I love my life!

56 and Still Ticking

Ten years ago, my good friend, Bob, told me that he owned a piece of furniture and that it was an antique. When asked exactly how old that piece was, he said, "About 50 years old". So there you have it... anybody above fifty is an 'antique'. Next month, I will be officially 56. So I will be 6 years beyond 'antique'. How can that be? I still feel 26... well, more like 36. Yes, 36 is a good age to be in. Anyway, being an antique does not make me feel any more special or expensive.

Time flies? No, it does not fly but wooshes by. Why? Well, if it flies, you can still see it. When it wooshes by... man, it just disappears without you even catching a glimpse of it,

To prove that I am in the second-half of my life, I even bought a book, "Beyond Half-Time" written by Bob Buford. He is an author highly recommended by my good friend, Leroy, who just crossed the big 'five-O' mark.Apparently, this author published his first book, "Half-Time" (what else could it be?) in 1995. Obviously, I had no reason to even touch that book in 1995. I was only 41.

Now, at 55 plus, all Buford's books will make more sense. He suggests that in our second-half, we should move from 'success' to 'significance'. Well, for one thing, my tummy has complied with his suggestion and  has become significantly larger and rounder. I am keeping this round tummy because it gives my wife such a thrill watching it grows. Moreover, it's a great conversation piece.

"Hey, your tummy is growing bigger!"

"Yeah, I know."

"You should cut down on your food!"

"Yeah, I know."

"You don't want to look like a pregnant goose!"

"Yeah, I know."

You can tell how good Grace and I communicate. We do this so often that I can now do it even when I am napping. All men should learn this technique because it does not only slow their heartbeats but keeps the marriage alive. At least, your wife thinks it's alive, even though you're half-dead... what I mean is that you're napping.


My other good friend, Aaron, is a year younger than I am but he is still 25. Somehow, along life's journey, he has surrendered his mathematics to his Primary School's math teacher. So, he is 25 and I am coming to 56. Strange... for such a great age-gap, we have so much in common. Any way, I always have an affinity with younger generations.

I think I am going to take a nap now. Typing this blog makes me sleepy. Well, before my dream sequence begins, a word of advice ...if you are already in the second half, go and take a nap. If you are still in your first half, then please keeping working. Why are you reading this blog during working hours?